Posted by: thebylog | October 28, 2004

I’m drained.

I took the GRE, which was very draining, especially the first quantitative section. Quite a bit of pressure to get it all figured out while the timer’s just ticking away and you know you’re taking too long… It was worth it though, because the score I got just blew away both my expectations and how I felt about the test as I was taking it. I retained my score on the qualitative (which I’m satisfied with), and did as well as I possibly could have, at least score-wise, on the quantitative. My preparation paid off.

And then my work, wow, that’s stressing me out. You know how it goes sometimes, when things don’t go very smoothly, and then they get even more complicated and you just want to be done with it! That’s what I feel like. I have a lull in my schoolwork, but this work stuff is crazy.

But I’m off to go out to eat with BB (a boy, *smile*) and try to put work out of my mind until tomorrow.




  1. What do you do when you don’t want to need to deal with things until tomorrow and tomorrow never comes? Until, suddenly……

    What do you do when you wake up and realize that you quit believing in yourself?

    What do you do when you realize that somewhere along the way you have let fear stand in the way of your dreams?

    What do you when you realize you are shutting yourself off from what you love more than anything else in the world because it hurts?

    What do you do when you can’t live without what you are trying to avoid?

    What do you do when what brings you the deepest sense of joy and fulfillment brings the deepest pain and frustration?

    What do you do when all these questions stem from the same source?

    What do you with the questions?

    What do you do with the pain?

    What do you do with the fear?

    What do you do?

    What do you do when you realize that

  2. Wow, are you okay, Ag? Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever “heard” you so distraught. Anything we can help you with?


  3. Yeah, I’ll be fine. You are so kind! It’s just way too true. You go along pushing things off until later and you suddenly wake up and see what you have been doing to yourself. It’s hard to find answers. It’s easy to blame yourself. You wonder why it has to hurt so much………and you wonder why you didn’t deal with it piece by piece instead of needing to have the entire weight crash upon you in one stark revelation.


  4. Hey, I will be praying for you, Ag?
    I can identify.

  5. -Marcel

  6. Thank you so much Marcel! I really do appreciate that!


  7. so jamie’s was good by?
    if you’ll take me to jamie’s i’ll
    take you to sugoi sushi. deal?

  8. Oh man, don’t tell me you’re whacked out enought to eat sushi! That is some seriously disgusting stuff!


  9. I have to admit that I have never tried sushi, so I can’t exactly say I agree with Tom. But I have no INTENTION of EVER eating sushi, unless perhaps held at gunpoint or worse. Oh shudder.


  10. I’m fairly open-minded when it comes to food, so one day in at the LB Commons cafeteria they had sushi and I thought I’d give it a whirl seeing as I like seafood and such.

    My word. I hate wasting food, but I don’t even consider that food. You know the fish stench on the docks at the ocean? Imagine eating that.


  11. Okay, thanks, just what I wanted to know. Why, why, WHY do people eat the stuff? Okay, maybe if I were starving to death on a deserted island and a little fishy leaped into my arms, I might consider having a wack at it. But, as is, no thanks. I have an uncle that eats sushi, like on a regular basis. He thinks he’s open minded when it comes to food, I think he’s crossed the line of ridiculous. And he tries to tell me that I am close-minded for not trying sushi. HA! He wouldn’t want to be with me if that even ever occured. He would see it, twice! Nah, I don’t think I’ll be doing that anytime soon. I’ve had all the vomit I can handle for a while!


  12. yeah tom, ben got me going with sushi. then i won this 25 dollar gift certificate to a sushi place, so we went there. it’s good stuff. you have to have the right sauce and stuff. once you get past the fact that you are eating raw fish/shrimp/octopi, and once you get over the texture and all it’s actually quite good. tom it’ll give you some culture.


  13. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

    I LUV sushi!!!


  14. Merry, NOOOOOOOOOO! Please tell me it isn’t true!!!!


  15. What’s this about you not being adventurous, Merry? You must have some strain of adventurosity in places that I don’t.


  16. When it comes to food I’m pretty adventurous. I rather draw the line if it’s moving/crawling/squirming.
    Crys, that’s why my list to you once upon a time on how to gain a new perspective read:

    1. Hug a tree.
    2. Play tag with a butterfly.


  17. Merry, sushi is this far (| |) from moving/crawling/squirming. I see no conceivable way classify it as (hah) dead food. Ick.

  18. Hug a tree??? Give me a break, Merry. You need to hug a logger. Sorry, but “tree hugger” has terrible connotations, and there are way too many of them already!


  19. Okay, so in order to gain fresh perspective I gather I am to do the following.

    1. Hug something
    2. Play something
    3. Eat something new

    Hey, I can do that. No problem! Wow, I was suddenly swept away by a fresh wave of perspective that I didn’t know existed.

    1. I hug my niece and nephew all the time, and I hugged my dog today (ooooh, double fresh)
    2. I played in last week, I played with legos, I played…….wow, I really played (um, these were all activities that involved kids, not me alone. I don’t generally play when I am alone and looking for something fun to do)
    3. I ate something new. I ate chicken pesto pizza and caramel flan.

    Wow. That is a real perspective rush. I didn’t even see it coming. Merry, I have to thank you. You have just shot me full of perspective.

    Oh, I’m glad you draw the line at the moving/crawling/squirming point. My brother doesn’t. He is just messed up! NEVER EVER dare him to eat something that is still participating in on of the afore mentioned activities. He’ll do it. What else have you eaten?

    OKAY, survey time. What is the grossest thing everyone has ever eaten?


    p.s. Merry, I would like to know when you get your logger embraced. Hmmm. I don’t think I know any loggers, or I would recommend some. But maybe if you can’t find a LOGGER to hug you could find a bLOGGER to hug. They work with logs…….

  20. Corn on pizza? Eh, I’m not sure. But, THAT I would try. I will try any fruit of vegetable it just meat that I’m really funny about.

    I am so not adventurous. Bad things happen to me when I try adventurous activities. Like, we got white water rafting. I didn’t want to go, but neither did I want to be left behind, because I knew that I would fall out. Did I? Yes. Not once, but THREE times. That is an entire story in itself. But, the last time, I thought I was going to die. I was so scared. I couldn’t breathe….shudder to think about it. So, I don’t have any plans of doing that again in the near future.

    Within an hours drive from here are three ski slopes. How can you live so close and not ski? Well, other of my family members ski, but I went once. Everyone tells me that I can just stay on the bunny slope, stay on the bunny slope, stay on the bunny slope. It’s easy, you won’t get hurt. So, I get on the bunny slope and right before my very eyes a lady falls and breaks her leg. That really boosted my confidence.

    I had to go over a swinging bridge in Iowa. Not a choice, a necessity. My sister is sweet, and bruised, as she lets me cling to her as we cross. This is a rickety, old, swaying thing. I hate heights. We’re halfway across when the gentleman, no let me rephrase that, the BOYS in the group (there was nothing gentleman about it), who were already across, grab it and begin to swing it madly two and fro. I can take a joke. My sister can take a joke. But that wasn’t a joke. I couldn’t move I was so scared.

    I went jet skiiing once. That freaked me out.

    Um, yeah, anyhow. So, I’m not adventurous. OOOOH, but I do love amusement parks. Which is weird considering me.

    And I will eat corn on pizza.


  21. I LOVE you guys! You’re all so much fun.

    David, may I ask you not to knock tree-hugging until you’v tried it. Trees are very dear to me, not for the reasons they are to most “tree-huggers.” They have often sheltered me in their branches when I had much to ponder and “process” (wink back at you, Crys). They provided me a safe place to be “me” when I wasn’t feeling that permission from the rest of the world. I was an avid tree climber as a child and young teen. The trees in turn led my attention to their Creator, and He met me there in some important ways. Hence, my appreciation and affection for trees, not so much for themselves alone as for how God has used them to bring meaning to my existence.

    And now about the logger — It’s one thing to be open to that option. It’s quite another to have one available to hug. πŸ™‚ Find me one; I might hug him.


  22. You might or you will?

    Honey, you say the word, you make the deal, I will tear the earth apart to find you a huggable logger. Don’t doubt it. And then, I’ll stand back, watch, and snicker.

    Farewell my fine fellows, I am off to hunt loggers.


  23. MIGHT is the key word here. πŸ™‚


  24. Girls, please! Y’all just make me laugh! That bunny slope bit was too funny for anything.

    I love climbing trees, too. Merry, I didn’t remember/know you like to climb trees! Why didn’t we climb trees when you were here? Kinda like that umbrella situation, why not just tell me up front that you like walking in the rain? And why not just tell me up front, like upon our first meeting, that you like climbing trees? ??

    When something’s driving you up a wall, go climb a tree.


  25. And every Thursday night from February to November, look for Ag up in some tree somewhere.

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