Posted by: thebylog | January 13, 2005

Misery

It’s a strange thing, misery. They say that it loves company, but sometimes it can seem like everyone is a million miles away.

There are billions of people on the planet, maybe a couple thousand that you know. But when things really start taking a turn for the worse, who really cares? Who really knows? All 6 billion continue their lives as if nothing was wrong with you, you walk out on the street with a sinking feeling in your chest and everyone walks around like nothing’s wrong.

But something is wrong. YOU know it, and the knowledge makes you lonely.

Even telling someone doesn’t always make it better. Often, you can’t communicate the depths of your feelings, so it comes off as “just a bad day.” You find it difficult to communicate just how bad you’re feeling. It’s hard to care for someone when you haven’t gone through it before, at least I find it so. It’s hard to really get torn up about something you’re not personally involved in.

I’ve been experiencing some of these feelings. Unfortunately, these types of feelings crop up when my circumstances take a dive downward. One of the hardest things to do in the whole world is to allow your outlook to remain wholly unaffected by circumstances.

But God does give perspective when you sit back and let him. Speaking of which – another difficult thing, though easier than the circumstances conundrum.

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Responses

  1. I have been there and can identify with your words. I’m praying for you today.

  2. So sorry, Byran! But don’t miss this chance to have a much-needed chat with the Father. Journal it! You know, I think about it sometimes, that when everything’s dandy, I just don’t seem to have that umph that really puts you in touch with God….but when it’s not there, it’s just not there, ya know? Anyway, wishing you some retreat, and special care. Ask God to give you some extra love right now. He wants to.

    Crystal

  3. hey!! i know exactly what you are say or maybe not exactly but close to it. i experienced close to the same thing not to long ago. it does help to talk to someone else though or at least for me it helped to talk to a very close friend and someone you can trust. it is good to know though that you aren’t the only one going through this.

    Tammy

  4. It’s easy to give pat answers when you are not the one drowning in the silence. I have done it. Perhaps I still do. But I’ve been on the other side as well, and it gives me a keen realization that words are most often overused in such situations. You can be covered in a blanket of loneliness, yet surrounded by friends on every side. You can be in a group in body, but feel totally distatched in spirit. You know you could find people to talk to that would try to encourage you, but words come hard. Words come hard and it’s a battle you feel that you need to fight with yourself. It may take hours, days, weeks of searching and praying, but when the peace and presence of God sweeps over you, it comes in a sweetness and passion that you suddenly realize you could never have known otherwise. And somehow, it makes it all worthwhile.

    Ag

  5. I would have to agree with you Ag, being with friends doesn’t always mean not lonely. And yeah, misery is miserable when you’re in it but somehow it seems that we learn our lessons better when we’ve been through it.

    Lavern


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