Posted by: thebylog | March 29, 2006

The weather has turned warmer now, no longer a biting cold but still snappy enough to make goosebumps appear if you venture outside without at least a jacket. I’m running a fever; it’s not too high but it’s there. I can feel it in my lack of focus, in my general restlessness, in my quickness to do anything but study hard for an extended period of time. It’s Spring Fever.

We’re down to only four and a half more weeks of classes. Then finals. Then Master’s Exam. Then year number one as a graduate student is history.

I honestly feel, in some ways, that I’m coasting spiritually. But then, I’ve needed God more than ever during the last seven months, and though He doesn’t seem particularly close, I believe that He is working.

One of the reasons for this apathetic sensation, I’m pretty sure, is my current lack of spiritual fellowship. Not that my life’s been devoid of it – with Amy’s church and the Christian Grad group – but it’s been devoid of consistent fellowship and consistent spiritual relationships with, in particular, other guys. Besides Amy, there’s no one that I regularly share my heart with, no one challenging me, not a back and forth, give and take that I find so helpful. Here and there it happens, but mostly with people that don’t live around here.

I have a couple ideas as to improve the situation, neither of which are without either complications or difficulties or both.

But I trust God and claim his promises. One in particular comes to mind: if I seek Him with all my heart, I’ll find Him.



  1. Why is it that whenever we feel that we need God the most, He seems the most distant? That is the story of my life the past year. I know all about “need” and even more about distance.


  2. I can honestly say I know exactly what you’re speaking of when you refer to the spiritual coasting that seems to accompany graduate school. I have often had the same feeling of a distant God throughout this past year. This thinking has been a valuable lesson for me: in that it was when God seemed so far away, that I began to realize how close He is the rest of the time and how vital (truly, life-sustaining) His presence and grace are to my very existence. And I agree that one of the reasons for this spiritual apathy is a lack of fellowship with other believers. But I have been very blessed to meet two or three fine Christian men here at Penn State who have blessed me beyond words.
    Let me know if there’s any way that I can be of an assistance as I can appreciate the floundering sensation you described.

  3. Is this Hershey Greg or someone who’s at the UP campus?

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