Posted by: thebylog | October 2, 2008

What to do when it’s bad

Let’s say I’m going off to Amy about how my work is tough, or how it’s not going well, or I’m stuck, or I’m worried about it.  She says, sympathetically, something like “Yeah, that really is disturbing.” 

WRONG THING TO SAY!  What she should have said is something affirming, like, “Just hang in there; it’ll be fine.”

Now let’s say she’s going off about how work is going terribly, or there’s a coworker that’s giving her problems, or she doesn’t know if she can do it.  I say, “Amy, it’ll be fine, I know you can do it.” 

WRONG THING TO SAY!  What I should have said, sympathetically, is, “Man, babe, that IS rough.”

I want affirmation; she wants sympathy.

This is something we realized some time ago.  Hopefully we’re better at relating about this by now.

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Responses

  1. Ha ha! So true to life! Ah yes, it is quite interesting figuring out how men and women operate so differently. I think it helps to talk about these differences together, so that when something comes up and one flubs up with an answer, the other one can know it is not meant personally. But even in spite of knowing about the differences, we still tend to get offended sometimes. When we were engaged, we watched the “Love and Respect” video. There is also books out too. I highly recommend it.

  2. This is SO true! I want sympathy in the worst way when I’m complaining, and Randy likes to fix things, hence, he tells me, “It’ll be fine”. Such a difference between guys and girls!


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