Posted by: thebylog | June 16, 2010

Why We Should Teach Our Son to Sit Still in Church

I don’t want to make a habit of teaching Xavier to do or refrain from particular actions without good reasons.

We are just beginning to parent Xavier. When he was an infant, all you can do is love him and meet his needs. But somewhere along the line – I don’t know where exactly and this concerns me – it became necessary to begin to purposefully shape his character in important ways, while still loving on him like crazy.

For instance, it is critical for a child to learn to control their bodies because of the ill effects a lack of control will have when they grow older. Take for example men and sex. A man’s failure to control his body in this arena can have devastating consequences on both himself and the people he loves.

This is why I want to teach Xavier to behave in church.

Perhaps it is melodramatic to connect grown-up self-control with a child sitting still for an extended period, but as I think about why it is important, this is the larger principle that presents itself to my mind. If we probe deeper yet, I want to connect this instruction with Christ Himself, since Jesus is, as usual, our model. He showed nearly superhuman self-control in the days and hours leading up to his torture and death.

Sure, I may be overstating things: Hey there, little guy, why don’t you man up with the self-control thing like Jesus when he was contemplating the sins of the whole world being laid upon his back?. Yeah, well, I know. Yet this kind of self-discipline is vital for a man of God.

Bottom line: I aim to teach Xavier self-control, and learning to behave in church is a little piece of that larger puzzle.

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Responses

  1. Good job. I think it’s important for parents to teach their kids the little things early on. How else can they learn the bigger things as they get older. And it seems like parents are letting their kids get away with acting up and it starts when they are toddlers. They don’t see teaching them discipline as one of the most loving things they can do for their children. Way to be thoughtful, responsible, and LOVING parents

  2. Hey Byran, there are certain things though… that need to be addressed here because there are definitely several ways of doing this…
    And I believe that each kid is different even with different parents… In my church we have two twins, one is always very quite… the other is very grumpy all the time… especially when his father is not in church… but guess what happens when his father is in church… one “nice” look from his father… and he becomes the most quite person on earth… after a while… he starts again… another look… and there he is… His mother the only way to stop him is to take him out of the church and let him play outside for a while… get off the energy and come back…

    So I guess… everything depends on a lot other factors… Xavier might learn one way… but another kid… might need a different way… you might be successful one way with him, Amy might need a different approach…

    The most important thing is to do it always with love… and not with frustration… after all is a kid… and not an adult…

    The thing that I highly object is to take him out if he cannot really behave… one day, I think you need to keep him in, so that he understands that is important to stay in and not go out… even if he is noisy… one two three times… he is gonna stop… he is going to understand this is the way and not the other way…

  3. I think you are doing a great job, Byran! Cannot believe Xavier is so big now! Time really flies!


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